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How to Avoid Becoming Emotional When Delivering a Eulogy

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    Everyone goes through a difficult time during funerals, but this is especially true when it involves the passing of a loved one or close friend. If you have been given the responsibility of writing and delivering a eulogy for a person who has passed away, then it may feel as though an excessive amount of stress has been placed squarely on your shoulders; in fact, it may feel as though it is not a blessing at all, but rather a curse. If you have been given this task, then it may seem as though an excessive amount of stress has been placed squarely on your shoulders. Your grief and your anxiety about speaking in front of others are causing you to behave in this manner. Avoid having that come to pass.

    Being asked to deliver a eulogy for a person who has recently passed away is a tremendous honour, and you ought to feel a sense of pride about it. Your loved one will be sent off with the love and respect that they deserve, and your family and friends have complete faith in you to provide that. As a result, you should have the same level of faith in yourself as they do in you. It is not uncommon for people to worry that they will not be able to make it through the delivery of the eulogy without becoming emotional because of all of the challenging feelings that they are probably going through at such a challenging time in their lives. You shouldn't feel abnormal for having this concern because it can be overcome. Following are some suggestions that will assist you in getting through the delivery of your speech while keeping your emotions under control. Check out our extensive list of Melbourne Funeral Services to help you arrange a funeral for your loved one.

    • It is possible to stand up and share your story on the spot, but you might not feel comfortable doing so in front of an audience if you have not practised doing so beforehand. You should rehearse what you intend to say out loud (in front of a mirror, with a recording device, or in front of a friend). After you have practised something a few times, you will have more self-assurance.
    • Make it Personal The majority of people who attend a funeral are already familiar with the facts: the name of the deceased, their birthdate, their hobbies, and so on. They do not want a list of accolades or other reminders of everything that the individual has achieved. They are looking for a personal connection with you and the opportunity to understand how the deceased has impacted your life for the better. Don't be afraid to show your feelings as you tell the story, and make it as personal as you feel comfortable being.
    • Crying is Okay: It's possible that you'll start crying halfway through. It's possible that you'll start crying in front of dozens or even hundreds of people. It's possible that you won't even be able to finish. These are all perfectly acceptable options. No one expects you to be perfect; they just want your honesty.
    • Put it in Writing: You shouldn't be afraid to get ahead of the game and prepare your remarks or your thoughts. If you are more at ease with the written word than the spoken word, you could offer to write the obituary or tell your story in written form instead of orally. After that, you have the option of either reading it out loud or having somebody else do it for you.
    • Steer Clear of the Front of the Room Although most eulogies are delivered from the pulpit or the front of the church, there is no rule that states you have to do so in order to deliver a formal speech. It is common practise to circulate a microphone or give individuals the opportunity to speak while standing in their current location. If this is the case, you won't need to worry about being the centre of attention. If you are looking for funeral directors in Melbourne, Peter Tziotzis Orthodox Funerals is able to assist you in personalising and individualising each funeral service to make it a truly memorable experience and a fitting tribute. 
    • Consider the following: in order for your words to have an impact, it is not necessary for you to make a public presentation in front of a large audience. Tell your story to a member of your family afterwards if you find that the idea of speaking in front of everyone makes you feel too anxious. In the end, a private conversation between just the two of you can often be just as therapeutic.

    Funeral FAQs

    Usually, a bank cannot close a deceased account until after the person's estate has gone through probate. The probate court will appoint an executor or administrator if one is not named in the deceased's will.

    The bank will have the paperwork, signed by the deceased owner, which authorized the beneficiary to inherit the funds. The beneficiary can withdraw the money or open a new account.

    Anyone withdrawing money from a bank account after death can be subject to criminal prosecution for theft from the estate, even if they are one of the beneficiaries. Taking more than you are entitled to by law can be interpreted as stealing from the other beneficiaries of the estate.

    Many banks and other financial institutions will not require sight of the grant of probate or letters of administration if the account value is below a certain amount. This threshold is determined by the bank, and as such this varies for each bank and financial institution.

    Order of priority for debts

    These are the expenses in respect of the estate administration. Priority debts follow, to include bills for tax and Council Tax. Finally, unsecured debts are paid last. These include credit card bills, store cards and utility bills.

    Tips To Help You Deliver The Eulogy Without Crying

    Practice

    It is not true that practise makes perfect; however, it does make one significantly better. When it comes to calming your nerves, practising your eulogy in front of a reliable friend or family member, a mirror, or even just by yourself can make all the difference.

    Have A Support Person

    The selection of a support person in advance is a fantastic idea, but it's not one that comes to mind right away for most people. As a result, I'm here to give it my endorsement!

    Pick a trusted companion from among your family or friends to remain seated in close proximity to you in the room where you will deliver the eulogy. While you are speaking, if at any point you feel like you are going to explode, look at this person. Take a few slow, deep breaths and ensure that you are making eye contact with the person. If things continue to be difficult, you should find some solace in the fact that you have this.

    Eat Before You Speak

    No one can perform any task to the best of their abilities when they are hungry, but this is especially true when they are under the emotional strain of delivering a eulogy at a funeral. Make sure you have a healthy meal before you leave the house.

    If you are not in the mood to eat a substantial meal (which is completely understandable! ), a light snack that is high in nutrients should do the trick. You will require some form of sustenance in order to maintain the level of energy necessary to not only deliver your eulogy but also sit through the entire service. If you try to do that on an empty stomach, you will feel even more exhausted than you already do, and you may even feel more emotional as a result.

    Remember To Breathe

    Because it is something that our bodies do automatically for us, most of the time we don't even have to give much thought to the act of breathing. Peter Tziotzis Orthodox Funerals is here to assist you in making each funeral and cremation services a unique and moving memorial to your loved one.

    However, for some unknown reason, when the body is put under pressure, it will sometimes forget how to properly breathe. Just before you give a speech, give yourself a few moments to gather your composure by taking some slow, deep breaths. This will assist you in gaining mental clarity and will prevent you from speaking too quickly.

    Don't forget to take a couple of slow, deep breaths while you're speaking the eulogy. If you find yourself at a point where you feel like crying, this may be uplifting enough to prevent you from breaking down in tears.

    In the days leading up to the ceremony, trying meditating or doing exercises that involve deep breathing can also be helpful in calming your nerves.

    Remember Who The Eulogy Is For

    It's possible that this piece of advice will backfire on you. It's possible that you're thinking, "That's going to make me cry even more!"

    Remember the reason you were asked to give the eulogy in the first place. It is done so that the life and legacy of your cherished one can be honoured. Keep in mind that they enjoyed a lot of happiness throughout their life. You may find that it is easier to get through this difficult time if you make it a point to highlight the happy times in your eulogy.

    Keep Things Funny, If Appropriate

    What are some things that can help keep the blues at bay? Laughter! Whether or not it is appropriate to include humour in your eulogy will, of course, largely depend on a) your audience and b) the nature of your loved one's passing, as well as the circumstances surrounding their passing. Here at Peter Tziotzis Orthodox Funerals, we provide religious and traditional funeral services.

    In spite of this, it is generally acceptable to inject some lightheartedness into a eulogy. Do you want to talk about a funny memory you have of a loved one with someone else? Did something so ridiculously funny happen to them that no one will ever let them forget it?

    The Do’s And Don’ts When Writing A Eulogy

    The weight of responsibility that comes with composing and delivering a eulogy can make the task seem insurmountable at times. It is understandable that the idea of having to find the words to summarise a life and then having to deliver those words as part of a speech in front of friends and family can be extremely daunting.

    People frequently enquire with us here at Bethel about the proper and improper ways to write eulogies. As a response, we have put together this synopsis of good and bad practises for funeral speeches. We have high hopes that reading this guide will not only make you feel better about who you are, but also help you avoid making some of the most common errors that are made in eulogies.

    The Do’s Of Eulogy Writing

    Do be prepared

    It is of the utmost importance that you carefully prepare the remembrance speech that you will give. Spend some time refining your wording until you are satisfied that the meaning has been conveyed accurately and that the sequence of events makes sense.

    A timer should be set, and the speech should be read out loud. It is important to speak slowly and carefully practise the pronunciation of names and places that are unfamiliar to you. The average length of a eulogy ranges anywhere from five to ten minutes, according to our findings. If you and/or others will be contributing to the eulogy, try to limit your remarks to no more than three minutes each. Make the necessary adjustments to the material of your memorial speech so that it is neither overly brief nor overly lengthy.

    When you print the speech, make it easier to read by selecting a large font, using double spacing, and printing on only one side of the paper. Be sure to print the page numbers at the bottom of the page if your eulogy is going to go over one page. This will prevent the page numbers from becoming mixed up. When you bring the pages to the service, make sure to hold them together with a paperclip and keep them flat; this will ensure that they are able to sit properly on the lectern.

    Please read our article titled "How to Write an Eulogy" for more information and recommendations on how to organise a eulogy as well as what to include in it.

    Do be yourself

    At the funeral, it is very likely that the family and friends who have gathered before you are familiar with you on a deep level. They will be a supportive audience that is appreciative and supportive of the significant gesture that you are making to the process of remembering someone.

    There is no requirement for you to put on an abruptly serious demeanour or make an effort to be comedic. Always stay true to who you are and how you see yourself. You should speak in a voice that is audible and clear, but you should also let your personality come through. Your character was taken into consideration when making the decision to ask you to deliver the eulogy. Please allow this to be a solace and a boost to your confidence. Arranging a funeral in Melbourne can be difficult. That's why Peter Tziotzis Orthodox Funerals is here to help guide you through the process and make sure that the wishes of your loved one are fulfilled.

    Do be positive

    As much as is feasible, you should try to centre the bulk of your remarks around happy and encouraging recollections. The majority of lives contain chapters filled with misery. It is acceptable to make a passing reference to anything of note, but you should make every effort to avoid dwelling on unfavourable events.

    Always speak openly and frankly about the positive influence that your cherished one has had on the lives of others, including your family and friends. Include a mention of their accomplishments and a description of any contributions they have made towards enhancing the lives of others and providing support for those lives.

    Do be a storyteller

    The act of telling one another stories about the person who has passed on is an essential component of the healing process. Be sure to sprinkle a few anecdotes throughout your presentation. Make an effort to select tales that help to illustrate the genuine nature of the person you care about the most.

    Storytelling is a popular way for people to connect with one another. There is a good chance that the audience members' hearts and minds will be warmed and filled with pleasant memories as a result of your shared recollections. You are assisting other people on their journey through their grief simply by being a storyteller.

    The Don’ts Of Eulogy Writing

    Don’t be isolated

    Throughout the process of preparing the eulogy, it is important to consult with family and friends. Collect information and anecdotes from people in the community, including neighbours, friends, and family. Make use of their ideas so that you can better structure your own.

    You should have the people you care about most read over the draught of your speech. Invite them to point out any mistakes, provide clarification on how the content should flow, and offer suggestions on additional material that could be included.

    Your eulogy should be read out loud to a family member or close friend who is present. You have the option of carrying this out in person, over the phone, or via Skype. If you divide this responsibility with other people, you will experience less loneliness and it may help you overcome any feelings of anxiety you have about delivering the eulogy.

    Don’t be indiscreet

    Your job is not to pass judgement on the life of the person who has passed away or to score how well they lived their life. There is no place in a speech of remembrance for inappropriate memories or tall tales to be shared with the audience.

    Take out any references that make note of dubious behaviour or long-standing resentments. A eulogy is not the place or the time to "roast" the person who has passed away. The tone and content of a speech given in memory of someone should always be respectful, though humour and warmth have their places in this type of event.

    Don’t be a list-maker

    It is an extremely difficult endeavour to condense all of a person's life experiences into a single speech or presentation. You will not be able to include everything; therefore, some tales and happenings will be discussed in more casual settings with close friends and family.

    When composing a eulogy, it is easy to fall into the trap of illustrating the deceased person's life by composing a chronological list of events that occurred throughout their life. You should make every effort to keep your speech from sounding like a resume. Instead, put your energy into sharing the anecdotes that shed light on the life of your cherished one. In need of assistance with the planning of a funeral service? Check out Peter Tziotzis Orthodox Funerals in Melbourne.

    Don’t be self-conscious.

    The act of delivering a eulogy can be a trying experience for the speaker. If you feel the need to take a moment to pause and collect yourself, don't be embarrassed about it.

    • Take a few long, slow breaths, and make sure you have some tissues and a glass of water nearby.
    • Take it easy and don't rush through anything.

     

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